I came closer and we smiled at each other. It was like a dream coming true. We talked and I felt like “She is someone special”. She is not just one of those girls you get to know quickly, talk, have fun, leave each others’ life and you go, meet another. In this article I call her Maria. As she was someone special for me, I decided, not to flirt aggressively. Her smile, her height, her smell, her energy around, it was unforgettable. We danced, we also kissed and we changed numbers. Later that night I wanted to leave and we promised to call each other.

The next day I was busy and later meeting some friends and I decided to call Maria when I have time on Sunday. On Saturday night, I was out again. The party was ok, at 8 am I left again just had two stations to drive by subway, but I sat down and fell asleep. When I woke up half an hour later, I felt shocked. My mobile phone was not there anymore. As it was already 9 am when I arrived home, I decided to go directly to the police. As they did not give me much hope to get it back, I locked my SIM-Card and directly ordered a new one.

Another day later I worked on getting the number back. The first idea was, to get from the telephone company. I gave her a call that night to give her my number, but she did not answer. This is why the phone company did not register the call and could not support on this. I checked out my the contacts of my Email account, but it was not yet synchronized. As a result, there was no hope to get the number like this.

I did not want to accept the situation as over. The thought in my head was growing, not within days, weeks or months, but in hours. What have I done? I registered a web-hosting account and a domain “you-are wanted.de” (I already put the website offline). Consequently, I developed a website with the intention to find Maria again. I shared the link in different Facebook groups. I shared it on my Facebook wall and with friends. Do not laugh, but I also made advertising campaigns. When I really want something, I fight for it.

As a next step, I contacted radio stations hoping they would take it on air. One station also answered and they wanted to know more about the story. So I told them and they invited me to take a record. A few days later, I was in the radio station, talking to a moderator and we recorded a 30-second spot. This spot was for some weeks each day not only once in one of the bigger Radio Stations in Berlin. The result of all that was no reaction.

One week later I received a new mobile phone with a new SIM Card, registered to my old number. I started the phone and waited for some information to show up, no information about incoming calls. Unfortunately, I did not receive any information about incoming calls, although from some friends I know, they tried to reach me. The phone company did not record any calls, as I blocked the SIM Card. Everything could just have been a dream.

What would you think if you change your number with someone and the person is suddenly not reachable anymore? Was he just playing a role? I do not know, but tried to find her even more. Repeatedly I went to the Club we met, but nothing.

I was dancing, looking to the left and I saw her again. In that moment the pressure I built the last months came up. What should I do? The first thing was, I needed to know, if it was really her, so I looked at her and she looked at me. She smiled, I smiled back. When I went closer, I lost against the pressure. So did Maria. She came closer, looked shyly at me and left again. The air was explosive and I saw another interesting girl, maybe from Colombia danced circles around me. This girl was not important in that moment, why I did not really notice her. All I did is to try to focus on the situation with Maria. If I let her go in that situation without talking to her, she will probably be gone forever.

Therefore, I took all my energy together. I decided to go there, talk to her, and make it happen until suddenly from the left side an angel like voice talked to me. “Sorry” she said, “The boy there is staring at me. He is scaring me. Do you want to be my boyfriend for tonight?”

I looked into her eyes and forgot all the pressure around. Someone must have heard the stones falling down from my body. She, the maybe Colombian girl does not speak Spanish. This is what I know after I tried to talk Spanish with her. SO she is not Colombian. I call her Cay. She is from Tel Aviv (TLV), visiting her sister in Berlin. We did not change numbers, but went home together. We connected on social media and passed nearly all the next three days together. This was an awesome and unforgettable time and experience, but we knew: We do not want anything serious on distance.

You remember what happened after I met Maria and lost her number. Cay was interesting enough to make Maria forgotten in even some seconds. On the way from the airport to work, I remembered the long Easter weekend 10 days later. At work, I asked to make the weekend one day longer. I took vacation. The next day, I booked a flight to TLV. As she invited me to stay in her place, I did so. The next days were like a dream.

The thought growing in my head got stronger each day. The time with her in TLV was like a fertilizer for this thought. I met there some people I am now very good friend with and I loved the mentality of the people living there. They are open-minded and so incredibly welcoming, in their own, sometimes maybe rude way.

I walked with Cay down the beach – with already 29°C in the beginning of April. The Energy around felt peaceful to me, despite the pressure of demonizing and possible violence. This reminded me of a dream I had when I was younger. I always wanted to live in a place where the peoples’ aura is that awesome and strangers make you feel home. Living in a place with also eight months of summer, that is סבבה [spoken “sababa”, means awesome]. My thought grew to a wish to maybe living there some day, but first I thought I need some more work experience and I have to learn Hebrew and so I started learning Hebrew.

I could not forget about this thought anymore. Although Cay suddenly and unexpectedly asked me to give her more space – and this could bring down a lot of people except me – I was full of motivation and energy. It was hard, not to have too much hope for the future as I am living in Berlin and she in TLV. Talking to her every day is all I wanted. When I want something, I am really fighting for it and I develop an energy that not many people do develop (maybe they stay below their potentials). The energy i put into making her feel comfortable was too much at the end.

From special presents to websites, video editing and taking photos, I did a lot of things for her, but I also put a lot of pressure on her, which was too much, finally. It seemed like I did not learn my Maria lesson and put everything on her now. So the contact gets less and less. We fought sometimes, but the next day everything was fine again. Doing sports, I also broke my kneecap, three weeks before flying to TLV. My target was the same: nothing can stop me from my holiday.

I flew with the fracture. The flight attendants were super nice to me at the Israeli airline, they gave me three seats on my own. With my mood it was clear to me: The time in TLV will be awesome. I will see that not everything I did was the best solution for everyone, but it brought me to an amazing time, several times.

When I learned one thing in my life: It is to accept changes and live with it, to make the best of it. So did I. The second week I moved to a street next to the a popular local market, the camel market. This is a completely different part of the city (compared to the North where I lived the first week), with different bars and clubs and people on the street.

I met many people there, mainly Israeli and I learned about a part of the Israeli culture. Additionally I learned to understand the behavior with the historical background. A culture of a reunited religion after years of repeated persecution, mixed with all other kind of Religions. (Jewish) people from all over the world and many people from other Religions, being open to each other and willing to learn to live together.

The energy I felt in TLV was special despite the political situation with the countries around, still led by groups, trying to incite Jews. So Israel built the Iron Dome, a defense system around the country. They would never start a fight against anyone around but want to save the life standard they have. If they started a fight, the countries around would have all reason to fight against Israel, but ok, different topic. The political situation makes them strong inside.

I will never forget the feeling I had, partly living with Israeli. This just one week when I was there alone was amazing (as well as the following times). I found many friend and am still in contact with many of them. A real TLV social network is what I built for me. Although it seemed to be over between Cay and me, the journey was a full success.

We decided to meet the next day again, after sleeping and thinking about everything, but I was rather wasted. I walked with my broken kneecap along the already closed camel market. Rests of food were lying on the ground. It smelled like waste, so I felt. Rats were running along the way. I heard cats fighting, but anyhow I still felt home.

Suddenly someone from behind started talking to me “Hey, what had happened to your leg?” he asked and I thought that I am not interested in any drugs, but I told him about the fracture. He was not selling drugs. Instead he asked me what I am working and what I would say, if he offers me a job as model. Just imagine this situation. A few days earlier, I lost the dream of my lover and me. Only a few minutes earlier, I also lost her as friend, nearly totally. My mood did totally not support anyhow that I am looking good. Forget that.

I replied I would think about it. He made me feeling a bit better again. A few minutes later after we left each other, he overtook me with his scooter and invited me to a club the next evening. This evening I also received the model contract and forwarded it to an Israeli lawyer friend who checked it for me.

The next day seemed to be good. It seemed like the friendship can survive and we promised to see again, although we not yet met again. We had some nice last hours at the beach. I wish I had more time with her, but I had good times with some other awesome people I met.

The evening was weird. I felt like Ted Mosby in How I met your mother when Barney Stinson tries everything he does to get a woman, just to win Ted for this architect job at GNB. I got into the club for free. He held eye contact. He paid drinks for me. He told me about the plans he already had with me, with photo shootings in Israel and Italy, TV occurs, etc.

It sound amazing and usually when a thought starts growing in my brain, it grows, not much can stop it anymore. Maybe he tried too much to convince me that it did not work. That I did not forget all the risk beside just a modeling job abroad, but as you see, I am still living in Berlin and I did not yet forget the idea of modeling in Israel.